City Harvest-Giving Back & Being Grateful

Wednesday night my mother and I went to a charity event for an organization called City Harvest. This 25 year old group of volunteers and workers rescue food from markets, hotels, restaurants, etc., to feed the hungry all over New York. I was so touched by the giving spirits of the people who founded and run this project that I feel compelled to volunteer whatever time I have to this noble cause. Only $1.40 can feed a person for a week; that's cheaper than a train ride. So I figure, the more I walk, the more transportation money I save that can feed a hungry child or an elderly person who can't feed him/her -self. I won't miss that money, and I'll be better off for having "sacrificed" it. And that's just one of many things I plan to do to help the people involved, which include such notables as Rachel Ray, Eric Ripert, American Express, Credit Suisse, DKNY, and all the "little people" who aren't famous that make this all possible.

A man who is a truck driver shared his life story with us, telling us how he was homeless 20 years ago and was in soup kitchen lines, wondering how he was going to feed his family. A worker at the kitchen, part of City Harvest, suggested that he could work with them since he was jobless, had no place to go, and could use the help. Fast forward 20 years, and this man has a steady job, can feed himself and his family, and is helping others in their time of need. What could be better or feel more rewarding than that? Listening to him and seeing all the people who need aid, makes me feel so grateful for everything I have. I wrote not too long ago to complain about not having my own place--now I feel like a fool. Sometimes it takes occasions like this dinner to put things into perspective. I am one of the lucky ones, and I know that. I will not take for granted; rather I will give back as a token of my thanks to the universe.

People now more than ever, need to band together to help those who can't help themselves. These number will continue to climb as the recession in this country continues to lay workers off of jobs they've held for years, as more and more people can't afford the houses they live in; as graduates come out of college and into a workforce that can't accommodate them, and as senior citizens can't afford to retire because they no longer have pensions and/or not enough social security with which to sustain a peaceable life, we must lend a hand whenever we are able. I vow to do my part, give up the superficial outings and purchases to uplift the rest of my community. I urge you to do the same.

Volunteer here.

Book Club Books

I've been asked a few times to keep posting the books my book club has been reading, but I keep forgetting to. We just finished reading The Way to Paradise, by Mario Vargas-Llosa, which was one of the best takes on historical fiction I have ever read. There was an overall consensus that it was a great read when my girls discussed it two nights ago at a delicious Peruvian restaurant I frequent in NYC called Pio Pio.

The April book is Jitterbug Perfume, by Tom Robbins. I'm one-third of the way through this book, and so far I'm enjoying it; it's fantastical, philosophical, witty and fun. I can't wait for everyone else to read it so we can delve into deep conversations about this one. Each of our beliefs, philosophies, and views on life itself will be revealed, I predict.

So there you have it, my avid readers. Enjoy!

Women Against Cancer

I recently signed up to do a 5k from Times Square to Central Park for the Revlon Run/Walk: Women Against Cancer and am so excited. It's on May 2nd, and I've decided to run it--well my run is really a "wog," but we don't need to be technical here. ;)

For those in the NYC area, please come out and support this worthy cause, or sponsor me! I'd greatly appreciate it. Just click here to donate on my fund raising page. I just hope the weather's nice; if it starts raining or is cold however, then maybe I'll finish in record time!

Calling a Spade a Spade

A very educated and cool girlfriend of mine in Miami (which is hard to come by) posted a funny, insightful note today about how sensitive certain words, slang, and phrases have become since Obama became our president. Race has always been a hot topic, but now that we have a black man in office, everyone seems to be a bit more careful with their word choice. Here's what Dianna wrote today:

I can't help but laugh when I hear public figures tap dance around certain terms that they would not hesitate to use if Obama was white. This learned gentleman was trying to explain the possibilities for negotiations with Iran on Diane Reem this morning and he actually stuttered out the following:

"...that's something they (Iran) never received with the Bush administration, and that's something they've gotten in sp....uh, great quantities, from the Obama administration."

Talk about quick thinking! The word he wanted was SPADES, the idiom for which is "in spades": To a considerable degree: They had financial trouble in spades.

The definition of the word spade itself however, causes concern:
Spade 2 (spd) n.1. Games
a. A black, leaf-shaped figure on certain playing cards.
b. A playing card with this figure.
c. also spades (used with a sing. or pl. verb) The suit of cards represented by this figure.
2. Offensive slang used as a disparaging term for a Black person.

He obviously realized very quickly that might not be the best choice...it's so silly that this kind of panic has to happen at all, but I suppose I'd rather have them err on the side of polite and respectful. Plus, it's kinda entertaining to hear them scramble to recover. :)

I agree, Dianna. A lot about this topic has been cropping up as of late; there are subtle hints all over the media. 30 Rock, a show I watch religiously, jokes about it all the time. For example, when Alec Baldwin's character was dating Salma Hayek, who was acting as a Puerto Rican nurse, he was stumbling for the "right thing" to call her, as if Puerto Rican sounded derogatory somehow. There are other instances they portray that I see a lot in real life, like non-black people not knowing what to call black people. They stutter and stumble, confused and conflicted about whether to say "African-American," or "Afro-American," as if "Black" might somehow be offensive. So long as I don't here colored, nigger, or negro coming out of a non-black person's mouth, I'm cool. But no one knows what to call each other anymore. I say, let's just call a spade a spade, haha! (spoken from a Chinegro, a Blasian, an Amerasian who can basically say whatever she wants without negative repercussion--I'm considered race-neutral...I think...wait, is there such a thing?)

Too Close for Comfort

I've finally made the transition from SoBe to NYC, and have been living with my mom. We're pretty close: we work together, eat together, shop together, travel together, etc., and now we live together in her one-bedroom apartment. I appreciate our relationship, our newfound closeness, and everything she's done for me--she's the best. All that said, I feel like a child again, or at least a teenager who thinks she's grown (as all teenagers feel). The only problem is I AM GROWN. After living on my own for years in a large apartment all to myself for the most part, I am now sharing a space 1/2 the size, I've given up 1/2 my wardrobe, 1/2 of my tv-watching time--and anybody who knows me knows I need my tv time--and all of my "me" time. To top it all off, we now share the same accountant! I'm a very private person who only tells people just enough information, and now I feel like I've been forced to be completely transparent. I'm very uncomfortable with this arrangement, yet at the same time, I do appreciate her assistance in the "Get Vicky's Life Together Project." I feel like I"m stuck between a rock and a hard place: I want to be close, but I don't want to be too close. Having a talk with her about it might blow up in my face and make what looks like a good situation bad, it might hurt her feelings, and it will definitely make me look the insensitive a-hole I've been accused of being my entire life.

I think I just need my own place and my own tv. Then I can shut up about the whole friggin' thing. Except for the accountant...

Kinda Sorta Freaking Out

I just found out that I'm going to be an official New Yorker for real! I knew it was going to happen eventually, but now that the time has come, I have such bittersweet feelings about it all. I'm ready, but I'm not; I'm excited, yet wanting to stall a bit longer; ready to move, but am hesitant at the same time. These mixed emotions have been keeping me up at night even more than usual, and my mind refuses to give me any peace. TV has become one of my only temorary escapes, but my eyes hurt! I'm ready for everything to be over, or not change at all. This whole situation is killing me and renewing me simultaneously. I wish I could just wake up from all of this, but I never fell asleep in the first place...

Th Gunmother Was No Fairy

We finally met to discuss The Fairy Gunmother the other night, and the consensus was that the book was anti-climactic, confusing, and that a lot of the humor probably got lost in translation (the book was originally written in French). There were too many characters to keep track of, and hence too many back stories to follow, albeit the back stories were fun to read and added depth to the characters and made some them more memorable than others. I know this book is part of a 4 book series, but I don't believe I will be reading any more of them. Je suis desoleil, M. Pennac.

I do look forward to discussing Paradise in a couple of weeks, though. This is another challenging book that I hope the rest of the group is prepared to delve into. Similar to Fairy, there are lots of characters, but at least the honorable Ms. Morrison gave each on their own chapter, even though all the characters overlap into each other's stories. Her thoughts and plots are so deep, I'm just hoping too much won't go over my head and lead to a bland and unfocused group chat...

February Book

We haven't met to discuss Fairy Gunmother yet, but we've already voted on this month's book, which I am happy to announce, is Paradise, by one of my favorite authors of all time, Toni Morrison. I will keep you posted on our discussions, for I appreciate everyone who is emailing and calling me to say how glad they are that I'm back into blogging. So with this welcomed pressure, I will be diligent. Thanks!

For Every Step Forward...

...there's always someone or something that puts us two steps back. In this case, it's baker Ted Kefalinos at his bakery called Lafayette French Pastry in The Village, NYC, who for some reason, thought making "Drunken Negro Cookies" a good idea. You can read the disturbing article here.

With all the wonderful sentiments of hope, pride, and togetherness so much of the country felt during the inauguration of President Obama, there is still a large faction out there that refuse to accept "progress." When I hear random comments like references of the inauguration as the "iniggeration," and I see t-shirts that say, "Nigger, it's called the WHITE house," I am made all too aware of the work that still needs to be done. Will racism ever be truly eradicated? I think not, but it's a nice concept.

Hit Counters

I'm a little peeved that my hit counter for this site failed me. I was finally up to 2655 views, and had to get a new one. So now it looks like I'm a newbie and/or nobody likes me. This really sucks.

I'm through venting now...other than this little snafu, this has been an unbelievable day!

New year, new president, renewed hope!

More on this special day later...

NYC Book Club Rocks!

Last night, my book club met for our first meeting of 2009. As usual, we had a great time, and my spirited members had much to discuss about the December 2008 book of the month, The Lost Art of Keeping Secrets, by Eva Rice. Opinions varied across the board as to liking or disliking it; I was one of the naysayers. This book completely fell short of all my expectations for character development, storyline, plot (or lack thereof), and good ending (once again, or lack thereof). As I stated last night at our British venue, Pound and Pence in lower Manhattan, "If a book doesn't end well, then it's not a good book. If you like a book up until the ending--and you don't like how it ends--it's not a good book." Thanks, Toni for seconding me on that!

A few of the ladies kept saying how they enjoyed "Secrets," but kept asking questions or discussing topics within the book that revealed flaws to all of us. A couple of the highlights were noted by Krisha (pleasantly and quietly opinionated) and Marnie (a fiery one) who noted that they enjoyed when Rice narrated the banalities of everyday life; how she would randomly write about the little nuances in the characters' behavior that made them real and/or mroe special. We all agreed that that kind of writing is what makes for an enjoyable read.

However, there were some more complex issues raised as well. For example, Racquel, one of the most wonderfully opinionated women in the group, asked: "Why is it that strong women and/or promiscuous women always get punished in the end with death or some kind of disease (AIDS, cancer)?" She then drew parallels to SATC, all of which were very true. This is quite an interesting issue that I will have to address in an essay one day, but until then, much obliged to Racquel for searing this on my brain.

So, in the end, who truly liked the book? I think less people did than before we talked about it...

I'm curious to discover the opinions of our January book, Fairy Gunmother, by Daniel Pennac, one book of a French series that has been translated into English. It's gotten fantastic reviews the world over, but has yet to reckon with the eyes and minds of this fiesty group of ladies! Stay tuned...

New Year's Resolution

I know, I suck. I haven't posted anything here in almost a year. So I resolve to be more attentive and responsible to my blog this year.

In the meantime, I know some really great, artsy, funky, creatively cool peeps who formed a group a while back called Kinky Notti. Check out their music and their blog: Kinky Notti . Super nice!

February Book

I was going to dissolve the book club, but was encouraged to keep it going. Thanks for the support, everyone! The February book is The Darwin Conspiracy, by John Darnton. I am very curious to see how this book unfolds, and really hope its author doesn't say anything to refute Darwin (I'd like to continue believing his theories). However, as with all books, I would like The Darwin Conspiracy to originate new thoughts and perspectives. I can't wait to hear people's opinions on this choice!

Not a Love for Me

I've got to say how disappointed I was in our December book, The Love Wife, by Gish Jen. I had such high hopes for reading a book about merging cultures (namely Chinese and Amercian) because I am of that amalgam. The characters, the writing style, Gish Jen in general, were short of the mark. It read like an Amy Tan wannabe and that description is an insult to the highly revered Tan.

OK, just had to get that off my chest!

December Book

I know I haven't posted in a while, but for those that have actually been reading with my group, and I appreciate your participation, the december book is The Love Wife, by Gish Jen. Enjoy!

Jena 6 to Lead Panel @ Summit in Washington, D.C.

Jena Six Students to Lead Panel at Summit in Washington, DC

Singer Angie Stone, and the Jena Six students are participating in the Children's Defense Fund Summit Tuesday Night. CDF Event at Howard University will focus on America's "Cradle to Prison Pipeline" Tuesday, September 25, the evening session of the Children's Defense Fund's (CDF) national Cradle to Prison Pipeline Summit at Howard University.

Stone will take part in a panel discussion on "Transforming Popular Culture into a Positive Force to help Dismantle the Cradle to Prison Pipeline." Following that, students Robert Bailey and Theo Shaw, two of the"Jena Six" will join others involved in the case for a panel discussion on"Endangered Black Males: Racial Injustice and the Pipeline."

Bailey, Shawand, and four other Black high school students in Jena, Louisiana, known widely as the "Jena Six," have been unjustly charged with adult felony charges for allegedly participating in a school fight. Both events will take place in Howard University's Cramton Auditorium. The panel will be part of a larger summit to address America's Cradleto Prison Pipeline crisis and its devastating impact on children, youth, and their families, particularly within the Black and Latino communities. A full summit agenda can be viewed at the website below. For more information on CDF's Cradle toPrison Pipeline Initiative visit http://www.childrensdefense.org/cradletoprison.

September Book

I know, I know, I've totally negelcted this blog. So, here's a brief update:

The August book, The Picture of Dorian Gray, was enjoyed by all who read it. We felt it was superbly written, and agreed it was quite homo-erotic, which is OK... Oscar Wilde was extremely ahead of his time and this, his only novel, proves thus.

The September book is A Mighty Heart, by Mariane Pearl. Mrs. Pearl is the widow of Daniel Pearl, the Wall Street Journal journalist who was kidnapped and beheaded in Afghanistan. So far, I think it a little corny, but well written and moving. We'll see if that changes and if the rest of those who read it think about it.

Until then..!

Augsut Book

The verdict is in: The book selection for the month of August is, The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. He is one of the wittiest and biting classic writers that I've ever read. For those who are unfamiliar with this legendary man, he wrote The Importance of Being Earnest and An Ideal Husband, among others. He has so many quotables, I'm sure if you read him, you'll agree. He was a man too ahead of the times for his own good, and I admire his spirit greatly.

Happy reading!

Was it Independence Day for You?

Whenever July 4th rolls around and I really think about what the day means, as I shared with you last year. This year, the CEO of iZania.com (an interactive marketplace for African-Americans) has sent a public message about this debatable day. I thought I'd post it and see what you think about it.

Independence Day -- The Cost of Freedom

I recently read an article about research facilitated by The Ohio State University's Kirwan Institute for the Study of Race and Ethnicity, titled, Whites Underestimate the Cost of Being
Black. The basic observation of the research by Phil Mazzocco is "While there has been progress in making racial conditions in American more equal, there's clearly a lot more work to be done," he said. "Blacks and whites are not experiencing the same America." As we approach this Independence Day, I began to ponder the "cost of being Black."

Independence has a very different meaning for African Americans, and that leaves many of us ambivalent as we watch the fireworks and hear the marching bands and see the parades celebrating our nation's independence. Freedom for Black Americans came more than 100 years after the Declaration of Independence, and still is characterized by huge gaps in the fruits of independence.

Looking back on our own independence, and evaluating our progress, we are not far removed from the indignities observed by Frederick Douglass, in his Independence Day Speech on the fourth of July 1852. At that point in the history of our nation - he made this observation:

"At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is needed. Oh! had I the ability, and could I reach the nation's ear, I would today pour out a fiery stream of biting ridicule, blasting reproach, withering sarcasm, and stern rebuke. For it is not light that is needed, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake. The feeling of the nation must be quickened; the conscience of the nation must be roused; the propriety of the nation must be startled; the hypocrisy of the nation must be exposed; and its crimes against God and man must be denounced."

“The costs of being black in our society are very well documented," Mazzocco said. "Blacks have significantly lower income and wealth, higher levels of poverty, and even shorter life spans, among many other disparities, compared to whites."

While whites may underestimate the cost, most Blacks are not far removed from the sentiments expressed by Frederick Douglass. As we celebrate along with our fellow citizens, we must continue to advance, in spite of the costs. It is important to recognize that, while emancipation was officially announced in 1863, we are still paying a higher cost of being Black in America.

For me, this makes my freedom more precious, and provides the motivation to continue the struggle for equality. My vote is more precious. My education is more valuable to me. I appreciate the progress that my parents and grandparents made - as well as my own progress -- because I had to work harder for it. I have a greater commitment to work for the progress of others, because Frederick Douglass also taught us that "power concedes nothing without a demand."

Do we have something to celebrate on this Independence Day? Yes, we do. We are not experiencing the same America, but this nation is just as much ours as it is anyone else's. So I encourage you to enjoy the celebration. Just don't forget the cost.

Roger Madison

CEO, iZania.com

I think that was pretty well stated, do you?

Summer Fun

I was just reading my July issue of Glamour Magazine (with Katherine Heigl on the cover), and came across a cute list of things to do to put you in a good mood (July is peak happiness month, after all, duh). I'd like to share them with all of you who do not subscribe to gloss mags and don't know what you're missing...

30 Things to Put You in an Instant Good Mood

1. Google your first head-over-heels summer love. Consider sending him and email.
2. Get rid of some unhappiness: Let go of a grudge, forgive a slight, unload a worry.
3. Give dark nail polish the summer off. Yes, it's edgy, but nothing compares to looking down at 10 pretty pastels.
4. See The Bourne Ultimatum just for brainy Matty D's biceps
5. Eat plenty of pink: lemonade, grapefruit, champagne, frosting.
6. Run an ice cube all over him. Or if there's no him, you.
7. Marco? Polo!
8. Use your sexy walk. Take all catcalls as compliments.
9. Open drawer. Insert BlackBerry. Close drawer. Walk away.
10. Skip makeup for a day and call it your new nude look.
11. Sit in front of a freezing cold air conditioner in a darkened room and have an all day screening of winter movies like Doctor Zhivago, Never Cry Wolf, March of the Penguins.
12. Plant something. Watch it grow. Eat it with a nice vinaigrette.
13. Spend 15 minutes browsing for sandals at zappos.com, which has--no joke--338 pairs under $40.
14. Naked sleeping, naked TV watching, naked iPod updating, naked tub scrubbing...need we go on?
15. Download the singsongy ice cream truck jingle as your ringtone (for as long as you can stand it). Just search for "download ice cream truck ringtone"--it actually works!
16. Give the kid a whole dollar for the lemonade.
17. Dip your feet in a cool, crisp body of water (yes, a blowup pool counts).
18. Order the 2 1/2 pound lobster. Of course you can finish it!
19. Bikram sex. As in hot, sweaty, intense.
20. "Don't worry about a thing. 'Cause every little thing gonna be alright." Repeat anytime you need a Bob Marley moment.
21. Make sangria (check out mixdrinx.com). Wine-soaked fruit: Does it get any better?
*22. Get a dog. Do it! You know you want to.
23. Put a pair of sunglasses on a baby strictly for your own enjoyment.
24. Entertain your fellow drivers by singing out loud to the radio with the windows down. Also, make "air waves" with your hands.
25. Add fresh mint to all cold beverages.
26. Price a quickie weekend trip to Vegas. Yeah, it's hotter 'n hell there, but the fun is all indoors.
**27. Be barefoot more often than is socially appropriate.
28. Hit the pool or beach at sundown, when all the crowds have gone. Have yourself a lovely solo swim.
29. Celebrate Take Your Sundress to Work Day. Wear an office-y little sweater, but know that underneath it you have the day off.
30. Turn 360 degrees and identify five things around you that are making your life beautiful right now.

*I am anti this item. Why would I want to take care of a smelly dog in the summer and have to walk it in this crazy heat and humidity?!?
**I think this is highly unsanitary. I do not recommend this item, either.

Albeit, some of the list items seem corny and kooky, I think that's what makes a person happy sometimes. A little corniness might just be what it takes to get you out of whatever rut is bogging you down. Have fun!